Creating content is a process, and it is not the easiest of processes.
As I work to rebuild and relaunch my personal brand, I’ve had to come to terms with what works, what didn’t work, and how I can improve to move forward.
All businesses have ups and downs, and when the world is in an economic and pandemic peril, it can be really easy to lose focus. For me, trying to identify myself as a “brand” and to fit a mold that doesn’t offer me financial stability was a soul crushing endeavour I had to over come.
What’s not working:
Creating video content. While this is a fun hobby, and something I really enjoyed doing, it’s not financially sustainable for me personally.
What is working:
Books, and language have always been of interest to me. I’m a decent typist, and I like writing. Writing is a way for me to tell a story, utilizing words, learning new words… etc. Language is neat.
What Am I?
A visual storyteller.
What I am not?
I became lost in this perception of reality that I had to be the product, and that all I was-was an object to be commodified. I lost my sense of self, and my sense of person-hood.
This lasted well over a decade from various traumatic experiences leveraging that I was nothing more than whatever Man believed me to be.
I tried to hide behind costumes, behind mirrors, and behind modeling. That I wouldn’t face the truth that I could be more than just a symbolic “piece” of meat that had been instilled in me from sexual harassment and abuse. Something that took away both my childhood, and my sense of self. I was so succumbed by darkness, depression and narcissism that I couldn’t even manage basic tasks. Keep in mind, I’m far from neurotypical, I’m a queer person with undiagnosed ADHD and some other brain related health issues; and I have also been dealing with resurfacing trauma due to current world events.
So, I have been writing. A lot. Some days, I feel lost in limbo, as if nothing has changed, as if I’m pushing myself so hard for no reason, but I know that’s not true.
I’m working on my first series of YA fiction books, a nonfiction novel, and might even turn one of my old short stories into an illustrated children’s book.
(I’ll post that story to this blog later!)
For now, I just wanted to send out a virtual update.
I am alive, and I am trying my best.
Art will forever be apart of my work, but for now I find myself through words.
I’ll be setting up a newsletter in the coming weeks, and I am taking donations to get my marketing/publishing business up and running as well. So if you’d like to tip to that you can here:
For all those who tip, I’ll send you book updates in the designated newsletter with special excerpts and links!